Satirical Icing on the Cake of Life

Wednesday, February 21, 2007

Surrogation Exists Not Only With People and Wildlife

Okay, so I haven't blogged via Blogger in a LONG time. Therefore, I am copying a blog from my regularly updated MySpace so as to fill in until I come up with something more satirical.

And with that warning, I apologize if the following entry seems may soon understand why. it's been a bit since I've last blogged...I just haven't really been in the mood. But, tonight is definitely a "blog night." I've got a lot on my mind, so bear with me... ;D

So, while I was in Nashville this past weekend, I got a phone call from none other than the woman who bore me out of her cavernous whole. Luckily, I only knew of this because of UE's wonderful notification system that sends me an email whenever a message is left on the phone, and then allows me to listen to it online. So, naturally, I made no attempt to call her back.

Well, the next day I get a call from Sherri, who happens to be crying. Turns out, Edie's mom, arguably my grandmother, but the verdict is still out on that one, is in the hospital, has stopped taking her medication, and "...just wants to go to heaven." So, Sherri calls me and tells me that it isn't a gimmick to get me to talk to them, just wants me to be able to see her before she passes away, if it does come to such.

That's great and all....but what the fuck am I supposed to do about it when I'm two states away? Yeah, I am an asshole. Yes, I have a grudge against that entire side, save a select few...but even if I felt compelled to go up there, I couldn't readily do so. Now, I'm not saying I don't care about her, I mean, she is human after all, and I do have some compassion in my heart. I have been calling the hospital she's in, checking up on her, and finding out as much as they are allowed to tell one over the phone. So, it's not like I am not making any efforts...



Yeah, and just when it couldn't get any does. (Yes, you guessed it: this is going to be a bitchy blog. Get over it.)

My dad knows I'm not taking any Biology Major-related courses, and probably suspects I am not Pre-Med anymore. I found this out via the grandmother I do have a relationship with. Oh, speaking of which, I don't think she's too happy about me not being Pre-Med anymore either. And to top it all isn't really fond, anymore, of me being at an expensive institution for my Undergrad. So, here we are, back at the "be on the lookout for alternate schools for next year" position.

So, basically, if I do that, I would most likely go to IUPUI. If such is the case the following will happen:

1) I wouldn't be diving anymore,
2) I wouldn't know anyone anymore,
3) I'd probably be living by myself (which I'm kind of used to already anyway),
4) I'd be leaving all the wonderful people here that I've met,
5) Along with #4, I'd be leaving the team, and
6) I can't think of what it is I was going to type here..... <.<

Why only IUPUI, you ask? Well, I can't think of another nearby, cheap college/university in which I can continue my education of choice. That, and did I mention it's a hell of a lot cheaper than UE? Even at it's most expensive (living "on-campus" in the best "dorms/apt."), it's still only about half the price of UE.

I won't ramble on anymore, because you're probably tired of me talking about it again....

But anyway, I had some other things to talk about, but I am so tired right now...and I have to get up a bit earlier in the morning to finish the French homework I missed with being gone most of last week. Wish me luck on that....

So, perhaps tomorrow I shall blog again. If not, you'll just have to wait until I get in the mood again. Considering how everything is going now, might not be that long.

Peace, Love, and Godiva.


Monday, October 23, 2006

Who Said I Wasn't Original?

Okay, since Windows decided that it would be a great idea to have an error whilst I was typing my last entry, I am still waiting for something worth mentioning to rant about.

So, until then, I present you with this (Yes, Drew, I stole the idea from you, but, as you will soon see, mine is way cooler):
LogoThere is:
person with my name
in the U.S.A.

How many have your name?

Werd, bitches.

Friday, October 13, 2006

The Ever-Unoriginal Yet Important Introduction

Well, I suppose I should probably give you some idea, or ideas, as to what I plan to use this blog for. Ideally, I am going to relay to you, the reader, random events that I have borne witness to, and "discuss" them. Of course by discuss, I mean criticize or otherwise completely laugh at said event.

Thus, with that said, I advise those of you incapable of appreciating wit and/or dry/critical humor to veer away from any posts in this blog. However, at some time to be declared at a later date (i.e., whenever I get around to it), there will be other random blogs of less cynical/satirical natures.

Also, I have included in my profile, I believe, a means of contacting me. Please, do not abuse this. Abuse, in this sense, refers to using said modes of contact to attack me out of "e-rage," or to do anything other than civilly address your concerns/comments on a blog that I have published. For future reference, any act as defined in the previous sentence will be hence forth referred to as "doing/did something stupid." For example: Joe sends me a message, "...omg lyk, I hate j00. Ur blog is dum..." Joe "did something stupid.") Ideally, this shouldn't happen, but I fear it is bound to.

So, until I blog next, I leave you with a quote:

We've all heard that a million monkeys banging on a million typewriters will eventually reproduce the entire works of Shakespeare. Now, thanks to the Internet, we know this is not true. -- Robert Wilensky